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Assassination Attempts
Because I was there.
Created on 2009-03-12 04:20:25 (#19047021), last updated 2009-05-30
15 comments received, 19 comments posted
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Basic Info| Name: | expiredcyanide |
|---|
BioGabrillo Princip failed at suicide.
The reality of it was, he actually choked on his sandwich. He had specifically ordered the Chicken Parmesan, but the damn deli gave him the Corned Beef, which he promptly attempted to spit out. Unfortunately, the fat chunk of beef got stuck in his windpipe, and for some reason unknown to him, he pulled out his AK-47 and pointed it at a man's weird fluffy hat.
With one hand, he tried to dislodge the wedge of sandwich, while with the other, he shot the archduke Franz Ferdinand purely on accident as the latter drove through the deserted street, also on accident.
Gabrillo Princip quickly yelled "asdlfkja;;!!one1!" and swallowed his handy-dandy bottle of cyanide, which had expired in the previous hour. As it were, cyanide is actually radioactive, with a half-life of about 3.14159 seconds, and his small sample had deteriorated into what is commonly known as "Chemical X." Hence after, Gabrillo Princip became a powerpuff girl. His new name? Pablloi Grilncpi Bubblecup.
Meanwhile, his buddy Čabrinović was lying in a 4 inch deep river, dying of tuberculosis.
World War One had started, and would not end until 1918, after the death of millions. All because of that one shot fired in Sarajevo on July 28th, 1914, and the retardedness of the Moritz Schiller's cafe.
THE END. WWII soon to come.
I know, I'm awesome.
:]
The reality of it was, he actually choked on his sandwich. He had specifically ordered the Chicken Parmesan, but the damn deli gave him the Corned Beef, which he promptly attempted to spit out. Unfortunately, the fat chunk of beef got stuck in his windpipe, and for some reason unknown to him, he pulled out his AK-47 and pointed it at a man's weird fluffy hat.
With one hand, he tried to dislodge the wedge of sandwich, while with the other, he shot the archduke Franz Ferdinand purely on accident as the latter drove through the deserted street, also on accident.
Gabrillo Princip quickly yelled "asdlfkja;;!!one1!" and swallowed his handy-dandy bottle of cyanide, which had expired in the previous hour. As it were, cyanide is actually radioactive, with a half-life of about 3.14159 seconds, and his small sample had deteriorated into what is commonly known as "Chemical X." Hence after, Gabrillo Princip became a powerpuff girl. His new name? Pablloi Grilncpi Bubblecup.
Meanwhile, his buddy Čabrinović was lying in a 4 inch deep river, dying of tuberculosis.
World War One had started, and would not end until 1918, after the death of millions. All because of that one shot fired in Sarajevo on July 28th, 1914, and the retardedness of the Moritz Schiller's cafe.
THE END. WWII soon to come.
I know, I'm awesome.
:]
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